He Goes Either Way

Hello again, my lovelies! Welcome to halfway through 2012...yep. Hopefully, you have kept up with the promises, aka "resolutions" that you made yourselves back in January. If not, get it together please!

So I'm sure you're thinking 'what the heezy is she talking about in this post's title?' Well...read on. I assure you it's not what your sullied minds were thinking. I don't typically talk/blog about my personal life unless I think it might help someone, or it is just really cathartic for me.

Since I broke off an engagement earlier this year (for the best; I promise all is well), I have opened up myself spiritually and emotionally to a wider array of experiences that I may not have been so open to in the past. I like to put things in boxes...they need to have labels so I know what the hell they are there for. However, one person who is so close to my heart refused to allow me to put him in a box. In fact, he tore the box up and lit it on fire. Figuratively speaking...ain't no Waiting To Exhale bonfire ish going on here.

He was so adamant that he could be friend, confidant, family, teacher, spiritual partner, provider of love...pretty much everything to me. Yet, he didn't fit my idea of what I thought my ideal mate should be. He wasn't a bad boy, big guy, swagalicious hottie. Sigh. He said I was setting myself up for failure. I disagreed. He went against the man grain and I didn't like it.Years and years later, it turns out he was right. I just let go of my 15-item perfect-man wish list...well some of it. I realized I was happy around him. That's what mattered. He likes seafood, but genuinely enjoys my vegan/vegetarian cooking. He's very opinionated, but lets me speak my mind also; he listens. He meditates and prays with me. He defies traditional, conformist thought. He eschews material things, but adores my love of shoes and fashion. He goes either way. He enjoys being in my world without letting go of his.

That being said, because I'm hard-headed and tough-skinned when it comes to affairs of the heart, we'll see what happens. Moral of the story? Ladies, don't send a man to Cast Away Island because he's so unlike what you deem as your 'type'. Those past relationships left a bad taste in your mouth so stop going back for seconds! It's so very cliche, but the man that's right for you might be right in front of your nose. Keep an open mind.

As I leave you with that food for thought, here's some food for eating! Last week, I was in the mood for some spicy Asian stir fry and this is what I made for our dinner date:

I stir fried in sesame oil:
1 small onion, cut in quarters
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1  medium head of broccoli
1 zucchini, cut lengthwise and then halved
1 cup of snow peas
1/2 cup or so water chestnuts
grilled and seasoned soy burgers/veggie crumbles, about 2 cups
chopped peanuts, about 1/2 cup
salt and pepper to taste

I combined in a bowl:
soy sauce, water, red pepper flakes, cayenne pepper, and Fiery 5 spice pepper by McCormick
(did I mention I like spicy?)
This was added to the vegetables and stir fried for another couple of minutes. The broccoli was crisp-tender. I detest soggy vegetables!

Meanwhile, I cooked about 3-4 cups of rice noodles and spread on a platter. I covered it with the stir fry combo and served with a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon...which he showed up with, along with flowers and raspberry dark chocolate by the way. Ow!
I know this is not an exact recipe because it was spur of the moment, but it came out FANTASTIC!
I thought I was eating food from a restaurant if I do say so myself.

He agreed...of course.

Until next time,

Love and Happiness,

Nikki

Sexless In The Suburbs

Call me slow, but I just saw the SATC movie last week on HBO. I know! My life is such a flurry of mind-boggling, fabulous events that I did not have time to see it when it was in the theater. Right. However, being an absolute devotee of the series, it felt like an old friend was visiting when I curled up and watched the movie in my living room.

Except the old friend kinda grew up and left me behind.

You see, Carrie Bradshaw and I had more in common than an obsession with bizarre fashion, overpriced shoes, and being from the Big Apple (thank God she finally threw Jennifer Hudson in there as a nod to all the sistas in NY-shoot, black people, period. I'm just saying!).

Where was I? Oh, yes-my girl Carrie. See, I actually had a real life "Mr. Big" thing going on. This on-again, off-again, but ever-present man in my life was just as frustrating to wrap my brain around as Big was. I could catch him, but I couldn't really ever reel him in. But it was ok; as long as someone as fabulous as SJP was going through something similar as well, I didn't feel like such a loser.

Unfortunately, as the movie unfolded, I noticed something. Carrie and Mr. Big had evolved to the next level. They were becoming a real couple who were not afraid to discuss the elephant in the room. I mean, I know Big rescued her in Paris and brought her back to NY to show how much he really loved her, but I figured that was going to be the extent of it. Surely, the movie was going to bring them back to their familiar reckless dance, right?

Well, well.

As much as I relished the satisfaction of their love conquering all, I couldn't help the irony of the fact that I was watching the movie alone while my "Big" was who-knows-where, probably doing things I didn't want to be thinking about with someone else. You see, we had our 5th and final break up about 2 months ago. So where did that leave me? Alone, in Atlanta (ok 20 miles or so west of Atlanta) on a Saturday night watching my relationship-challenged television "counterpart" get her man! Florida Evans said it best: damn, damn, damn!

But, you know what? Being the "glass half full" type of chick that I am, I vowed later that night to dig myself out of my spinster-like, sexless funk and do what my friend Carrie did: press on and live life, regardless of my relationship status! Yes, yes! That's what I have to do, I decided.

Men don't want a woman who reeks of desperation and a look in her eyes that say 'I'll take you, even though you don't come anywhere close to my standards'. Uh-uh! I'm gonna slide on those Jimmy Choos (ok Nine Wests) and swing my fine self down the road and live my life to the fullest. He'll find me soon enough.

However, just a warning to him (and I pray he looks exactly like Dhani Jones): when he does decide to get in the game--watch out! Cause it's been a while and things could get pretty interesting.